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A Modernly Ancient Crustacean Mutation or Consider the Trump’pelosi

Hey you, White House: ?Ha ha, charade you are!

— Pink Floyd, “Pigs,” from the album Animals, 1977

Here, on the bristling with White Noise precipice of another trumped-up quadrennial election, all who choose — or are “permitted” — to participate in this farce face a stark reality. ?Donald Trump is the Mayor of Crazy Town these days (a fact still crazy on its face, of course…), and this election appears to be little more than a final court hearing on the divorce of Trump from his trusty-yet-faithless spouse in the House, Nancy Pelosi, in light of which the impeachment proceedings were merely preliminary…

Credit Card Country Joe Biden, the best-known — even while being the least-seen — presumptive challenger to the American mayoral throne, is strictly a side-piece in this sordid affair. ?His Masked-off-from-the-Public campaign almost speaks for itself: ?“Hey Fat!…You’re not Black!…You know — the Thing!…I probably shouldn’t say anything…” ?Biden’s been out-to-lunch in his basement getting high on the Polls, playing false-positive to Trump’s manifest negative. ?His candidacy could be excused, perhaps, as an ironic symbol of the cognitive decline of American political discourse. ?However, no one’s really voting for side-show Joe; ?the main stage in this political theater sponsored by the Game of Donors Corporation is reserved for the bipolar Trump’pelosi Circus.

The origin story of this political monster, a freak of late-phase capitalist nature, is somewhat in dispute. ?Research upon this Neo-con-liberal chimera is undecidedly mixed, and perhaps reveals the doctrinal biases of the researchers more than anything else.

On one side of the Trump’pelosian divide, studies purport to show that this grotesque phenomenon arose from an especially toxic, antediluvian swamp; the PNAC chicken-hawk Max Boot-licker, for example, goes way out on a missing link or limb to see signs of the Trump’pelosi as far back as Thucydides. ?Other researchers insist — au contraire! — that this bipart’insanely duopolistic creature Mama bears all the claw and fang marks (not Karl Marx…) of a far more modern, bio-political laboratory creation. ?Yet another school of thought posits that the Trump’pelosi is most lucidly — however luridly — comprehensible when perceived as a fundamentally conjugal, or con-jugular, expression of realpolitik, a perspective that implicitly de-emphasizes the bio-genetic origin story of this Janus-faced goblin Nevertheless, before casting too much credence here, it should be noted that this view also contends that a Transylvanian — not a Chinese! —? bat caused the novel coronavirus plaguing the Planet today (Sorry: ?New WHO or CDC guidelines mandate gratuitous — no matter how non sequitur — COVID references in all communications, according to the daily, hourly, and minutely up-dated censorship rules; much like any other young’un, the Virus demands constant attention…).

Beyond any and all mandatory COVID digressions, however, this political gargoyle behooves us to produce actual evidence of its transactionally sinister nature. Well, look no further than the case of “the Squad!” ?The Pelosi side of the Trump’pelosi diumvirate cracked a quick whip after the Democrats rushed the House in 2018, as the Nancy soon got all 4 of those uppity young “colored” gals into line, like a spooky drill sergeant from beyond-the-grave: ?“No turns to the Left or South, girls! ?Only right, white, right!?” ?Trump barked, but Pelosi applied the muzzle. ?In light of the taming of the “Squad!”, then, the conjugal theory of the freak Trump’pelosi crustacean mutation certainly has a leg or claw to stand on.

After putting “the Squad!” in its place, the Nancy did not lose time doubling-down on the Trump’pelosi’s latest victory over the “Left,” by conspicuously posing with all of that “fabulous Ice Cream!”– just in case we all had not noticed who the winner was, and is, until further notice. ?In an even more brazen celebration, the Pelosi-side went on a shopping spree, purchasing a kente cloth to show fealty to her new favorite flavor of ice cream, Black Lives Matter. ?Meanwhile, her less-than-better half has been down on his KFC-bucket luck of late, but that’s how marriages go sometimes.

The self-contesting nature of this artificial beast was perhaps most symbolically on display during the Trump-half’s State of the Union address back in early February, or before anyone in officialdom was taking the coronavirus seriously. ?On the one hand, Trump threw the spotlight on failed Venezuela coup puppet Juan Guaido, delusionally referring to him as the real president of Venezuela. ?Trump was not alone in this delusion, as the entire chamber erupted in applause, including the eminent Pelosi, clearly signaling her approval of this attempted regime change operation. ?On the other hand, with the same hands that enthusiastically clapped for our would be Boy-in-Caracas, the Nancy-half melodramatically tore her other-half’s speech in two in true “cliff-hanger” fashion, as if the whole show were merely a soap opera “To-Be-Continued…”

Back in the 1980s, there was this observational joke floating around that a “liberal” was just a “conservative in jogging shoes.” ?Jogging was trending as a form of exercise in those days, when true-red conservatives were running the show with Ronny Reagan, a former B-movie actor, appropriately enough. ?This “conservative” run technically ended when Bill Clinton jogged into office in 1992, championing a new breed of “liberal.” ?Clinton’s jog through two terms in the White House also set the stage for the kind of political theater we have now: ?bipartisan consensus Abroad, with an increasingly divisive style of bickering at Home. ?The Trump’pelosi farce at the 2020 State of the Union speech shows that this paradigm is still very much in play.

In a way, then, the bizarre presidency of Donald Trump was grafted onto a pre-existing political condition perhaps best embodied by Nancy Pelosi, who has been directing traffic inside the Beltway since 2003. ?That this Orange-skin-graft (or grift) has not gone smoothly hardly diminishes the efficacy of the Trump’pelosi, whether or not the November Election results in a surgical reversal, or divorce, thereby removing this “foreign” specimen transplanted into the DC swamp by a most unusual election 4 years ago. ?That the Trump’pelosi has been a Neo-con-liberal job all the way is also seen by the fact that, while the Trumpian side of this Frankenstein’s monster bragged about wishing to torture “terrorists,” it was Pelosi who gave a free pass to actual torture under the W. Bush administration, a fact which has only recently come to this writer’s attention thanks to Jimmy Dore, who has quite rightly highlighted this obvious lowlight of the Pelosian regime. ?Raptors of a feathery scale tend to…leer at the Public as so much carrion to feast upon. ?The Trump’pelosi is just such a Raptor, speaking of antediluvian swamps…

All of which brings us back to the prospect of Joe “Dark winter” Biden, the Scarecrow leading all the straw polls, supplanting the illegitimate Trump for the American Mayoral scepter and crown. ?But, “illegitimate’s” a funny epithet in this context, considering that then-President Barack O’Bushma was the very first leading citizen to endorse the Donald’s “election,” and Hillary herself, who had jogged such an out-of-breath (but not out of the almighty Money!) campaign against Mr Trump, was a quick second to Obama’s endorsement of Trump. ?What to make of that? ?These days it seems that American elections are even more suspect than their Venezuelan equivalents. ?So: ?Will Juan Guaido cast the deciding vote in this year’s election? Hint: ?Guaido’s probably a better bet here than Vladimir Putin who — Stop the Presses! — may just be a Clinton “asset” after all…As they say in Soap Opera Land: ?“To Be Continued…”

Todd Smith lives, writes, and observes the Brave New World Order in St. Louis. He can be reached at bartlebydick@yahoo.com. Read other articles by Todd.

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